G-G to Supercilious Canadian Public: I Am Here Now

Spielberg couldn't have directed it better. The Canadian media running down the avenues like a panic-stricken Tom Cruise. The Globe, The Post, everyone had their special two-page pull out sections with cheat sheets on the who's and why's of the next Canadian Governor General. But much like the slumbering alien ships of War of the Worlds, the lady for the job has been buried under Canadians noses for years. Michaëlle Jean was announced on Thursday as the next G-G with all the fanfare and coloured balloons of a Paul Martin news conference. And she wasted no time in bursting out from under two tons on packed concrete. Ms. Jean opened her eyes to the press and began the moral slaughter. "I've never been a token, and never will be" she commented adding, "I have come a long way. My ancestors were slaves.". With heads hung down in shame, the press anxiously awaited the Prime Minister's thoughts on the appointment. "This has nothing to do with ... partisan matters, hers is a story that reminds us what is best about ourselves and about Canada - a nation where equality of opportunity is our most defining characteristic, giving testament to our longest-held values." Consistent with all other Paul Martin comments, you can take any three words and place them in front of any other three words and continue building a statement. But there are three words that describe Ms. Jean's speech that day, "best about ourselves". She seems to be placing her foot steadily above the Canadian public assuming her place high and above, threatening a moment’s notice before crushing us all with her stories of triumph and tragedy. She's a refugee from Haiti who fled violence from a murderous regime that, blah, blah, blah...end with pulling a nose hair for a big juicy tear. This type of self-righteousness is well preserved in her past mumblings to the mother corporation and other Quebec media. "I have a feeling that a page of history was written, just by my simple presence.", a comment to the Montreal Gazette in 1994. I think she wants us to roll up the whole Haitian, immigrant, black, woman situation and bow down to her presence, her being in some sort of servitude. All this has happened (and will continue to happen) while Paul Martin sits in his leather-padded office trying to decide which colour Smartie to cheat on next. So for those of you with the distinguished honour of meeting our new G-G in the coming months and years, remember to bow your head in respect and lower you soul in shame. Here's to Wendy Mesley in 2010!